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  • Writer's pictureMoana

Opening Chapter 30 On My Mental Health

As I sit here in my bed the night before I cross that threshold into the famed dirty thirty club, I know that this is a period of reflection and checking my mental health at the door.

For many people turning thirty is the crossroads of their life. We know by now what’s for us and what isn’t or we at least have a decent sense of it. By the time you reach 30, you will be fully immersed in your Saturn return. For those new to astrology, we know Saturn as the patriarch that hands down the lessons to us. Daddy Saturn appreciates every time we get a smackdown that we stand back up and try again, but let me tell you honey, that smackdown does not come without some trauma.


From a young age I have always had both of my parents around. Did they always get along? That is most certainly debatable, but still I was blessed more than most children are afforded and for that I have so much gratitude. I got 20 full years with my dad and little did I know, the last 10 without him would be essential to shaping my mental health. My dad was heavy on the “Look up and hold your head high so you always see when they’ll try to sucker punch you” and “If they knock you down, get the hell back up”. Upon further investigation, my dad had a Capricorn moon and while he was a fun guy — thank you to his Leo sun, he really knew how to drill a hard lesson into you. I truly have him to thank for my resiliency. His relevance to this particular blog post is that I carried this parental guided resiliency into my mental health management. Being resilient in knowing the sucky days will suck less when I keep putting one foot in front of the next is the foundation of my mental health. Now at 30, I can truly give a testimony to how important figures in our life, role models that we envy, and mentors that we wish to learn from are.

My first tip toe into managing my mental health was when my parents got a divorce and the court appointed therapy sessions to help me transition from a two parent home into two one parent homes. This was going on during the shift from first grade into second grade and to be honest, other than the court appointed sessions, no one took the time to explain to me exactly what was going on. I use to think those mandated group therapy sessions were more of a punishment than actual help because it broke the routine that my dad and I had when I spent time with him. So even when I got sad, I knew I had to pick my head up and keep moving forward. I mean, what else was I supposed to do? Reflecting back, this could have been the catalyst for my depression.

 

It wasn’t until I started puberty and entered middle school when my mental health really stepped up to the plate. That foundation that I had relied on really started to crack. You see, the thing about resiliency is that it gets soooo tiring. I’m sure a lot of y’all reading this can attest that being that person who can always bounce back is also the person who always gets hit. We show up and are present more times than not even in the face of adversity. As I type, I really can’t continue on with this blog without mentioning that I am such a loved and protected individual because at the time that my mental health started hitting its breaking point in 8th grade, my now husband — then best-friend and soon boyfriend entered my life. That was divine intervention from my spirit team to keep me afloat and you can’t tell me otherwise. He has always been the main one championing my mental health development.


Unbeknownst to me, 6th to 8th grade was the time that I started to subconsciously sort out my emotions and I did this through consistent journaling. Reflecting back, I see that I have always had a gift for problem solving my own mental health. I just knew in my soul when it was time to start healing traumas and my soul also has a direct 911 connection to the universe when my mental stability is being threatened. This is probably one of the best and most comforting revelations for me because the world we live in is hard enough and it takes a stable and secure mind to not only navigate it for yourself, but to also encourage others to navigate on their own.


While I knew how to unlock the why and release through journaling at age 11, I was still a young and uninvolved human being who did not have the tools to properly digest what I was writing. The biggest take away as I flashback to these memories is that I never allowed myself to stay at this place because at thirty years old, I know the tool and strategies. It was confirmation that I am progressive and self-motivated because I know these tools so well I’m confident that I can help and mentor others into developing this skill for themselves. I have also accepted that one person‘s gift does not look synonymous to another’s and that my natural born gifts are very unique. Then I found astrology and confirmed, this is my purpose, this is what I was born to do.

 

As I open chapter 30, I have to check my mental health at the door. How am I feeling? What am I going to do to ensure I thrive this next decade? What needs to be released from my mental space to make room for the new? I also have to revisit the boundaries that I set in place. Do I need to extend the perimeters of them? Or do I need to pull back due to irrationality? Checking my intrapersonal relationships is another very important key too. The people that you surround yourself with can make or break your mental health. Do I need a better circle around me? Is my circle too big? Too small? Is my circle pulling too much energy from me? Are they reciprocating back the energy that I pour into them? Those who shine their light the brightest attract people who struggle to release theirs. It’s important to discern when it’s time to shine on them so that they can see the way out and when you have to remove your light so that they may find the courage to finally shine like they were born to do. Say what you want, but it’s way more than just you that contributes to the health of your mental space. Take all things into consideration.


Self-analyzing and reflection are two things we should never be afraid to do and turning thirty calls for this. Acknowledging the lessons you’ve learned so far, why they were important, and how you plan to move afterwards is the key to thriving in your thirties!

 

So happy birthday to me and cheers to the next chapter of abundance! I’m very excited that I get to share my thriving thirties with my community and I hope my transparency with my mental health journey inspires you to take yours by the reigns and own it.


 




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